I recently purchased a Ford truck, very much like what you see in the picture. This is my second truck, and I don’t think I’ll ever revert to a smaller vehicle again. I formerly drove a Honda Civic (too small for Texas roads). Driving something large is in by best interest. Everything on the road in this state is jumbo-sized. Driving a big truck is self-defense!*

Any how, the point of this story is that recently I annoyed someone with my parking skills – or lack of parking skills. I so distressed this person (I think female; though, the handwriting looks male) that she took the time to write me a note. At first reading, I was bothered. I did not take up four spaces (I took two – there were no parking places for large vehicles, everything was labeled compact car – why do these crazy little spaces still exist? This isn’t Europe!) and there were plenty of other places to park! Obviously, the whole Christmas shopping thing had frazzled her last nerve. I came to that conclusion after a second reading of the note. On the third reading I laughed, and every reading thereafter has delighted me!

Here’s the letter for your enjoyment. If you’re sensitive to foul language, you best stop here!

I love the assumptions in this note.

First, it’s assumed I’m male (and tough). I’ll have have you know that girls, those whom are not debutantes, drive trucks too!

Second, it’s assumed that if I had another vehicle, I would park differently. I could easily take two parking spots with a car. I’ve seen others do it.

The cherry on top of this note is “Have a nice day!” I just love that. I really wish I could meet this person and give them a big hug. They’ve given me so much pleasure. If only they had taken a picture and submitted it to youparklikeanasshole.com.

*Texas is the “land of pickup trucks,” even charging lower taxes on pickup truck registration (agricultural use only) than on other types of vehicle registration. As a matter of fact, Texans have 14% of the pickups in the U.S., and automakers sometimes offer special editions of their pickup trucks, with names like “Texas Edition” and “Lone Star Edition,” more commonly known as the “Big Horn” in other states.

And here’s something ironic – Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) is headquartered in Texas, the state in which more people die each year in drunk driving-related accidents.